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Waiheke Island, NZ

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I woke this morning reflecting on connection.  My connections.  Human connections.  Places I’ve gone, things I’ve done just because I’ve wanted connection.  So many times I’ve abandoned myself because I’ve longed for connection.  Done things I wasn’t a full yes to because of the connection aspect. 

And then there are the times I haven’t been true to myself in fear of connection.  Instead of overriding my ‘no’ I don’t honour my ‘yes’.  I don’t allow myself to rise because of my negative self talk or woundings which linger and hold me back.   Will I be enough?  Will I be too much? These pieces are more subtle and harder to spot.  Often blocks within the negative self talk of my mind.  This is where I can do more work on my self love.  

This morning I’m feeling the sadness of the separation we live in in the Western world.  The separation we create for ourselves.  How disconnected we are from being ‘one’.  Spirit has been speaking to me of this for a while now.  Something my mind has known for a long time but it’s often not until Spirit shines a light on these things that I’m really able to feel and integrate them into my being. 


We experience this ‘oneness’ through our experiences in life.  We all move through the same shit at some time or another.  Through our core woundings.  Through our pains and our joys.  Yes we experience these things to different degrees…of course…but never the less we do at some time or another, throughout our own lives, experience that of our sisters and our brothers. 

Most commonly we don’t see what we see in ‘the other’ in ourselves.  Instead we judge.  We blame.  We criticise.  And we create disconnection. 

I see this behaviour everywhere.  Myself included.  What happens if we’re able to pull back the blame and the projections.  What happens if instead we see the mirrors in ourselves?  What happens if we’re able to have compassion for those parts of ourselves?  Are we then more able to have compassion for those parts in our brothers and sisters? 

Is this where we get it so wrong?  Where we disconnect from being ‘ONE’?

It’s possible I have a romanticised or even ignorant ideology of indigenous tribal cultures but somehow I don’t feel this behaviour exists in tribal cultures.  Or perhaps it exists but is quickly nipped in the bud by the elders.  The wise ones that hold the tribe together.  A role that is mostly absent in our Western society.  

Whilst there’s a big part of me that is hermit and very happy often alone.  There’s also a big part of me that has deep longing to live in tribe.  To live in a way that we are connected.  Connected to ourselves, connect to each other and connected to the natural world.  A way that we are ALL ONE.  A way that we are held accountable for ourselves and guided by our elders.  A way in which I innately know I have lived in other life times.  

A deep remembering of which creates longing.

The work is the manifestation of the longing.  

(As I wrote this there were two Tui a metre from my open window speaking so loudly to each other.  Or were they speaking to me?  They were impossible for me to ignore.  Tui have been coming in strong lately.  I came across a dead one on a track I walked a few weeks ago.  I knew it was medicine for me - the timing pertinent.  This is a whole other story but just wanting to acknowledge the medicine coming through for me in this time.  Just as it does for you if you’re open to the receiving.)