Trusting in the mysteries of life.  Surrendering to synchronicities of souls coming together from a place far beyond the mind.  Listening and allowing the magic to weave. 

 I love the way in which people weave in and out of each others lives through a deeper listening.  Without attachment or expectation.  Surrendering to what’s there in every moment.

 When a dear soul sister arrives to visit it’s not long before we understand we have work to do together during the solstice period.  An invitation to fast.  Not just any fast but a dry fast - no food or water.  (In the extreme heat of summer). Having never really properly fasted I took on the fast with intention of dry fasting for one day and water fast for two.  Laura, having done several dry fasts herself and guided others, comfortably set intention to dry fast for the 3 days.

With conscious gratitude we drank our last glass of water on Saturday evening and set intention for the portal we were entering.  My first hurdle was Sunday morning as I felt the loss of my cup of tea in bed ritual.  An emptiness arrived.  So much to notice in my mind as I watched how often I unconsciously thought about grabbing a coffee, going for a sip of water or what the next meal would be.  So many times having to remind myself that I was fasting.  The emptiness continued.  Time and space opened in a way I’d never experienced.  Awareness of how much pleasure I take from the things I eat and drink.  That pleasure gone. 

Somewhat strange but we did a lot of lying on the beach in the scorching sun.  Getting in to the water much more than I usually would.  If I couldn’t take water inside my body I needed to put my body inside the water.  Strangely it felt quenching….for a short time anyway.

As we discussed what we’d do over the night of the solstice/conjunction I was having visions of a secluded bay not far from where I live.  It became clear we were to spend the night there - in vigil.

We made it through the first day of fasting and after deep listening I decided to keep going without water. 

Into day two and the lightness and play from the previous day was dissipating.  We were inward, my mouth was dry and energy was minimal.  We slowed everything down.  Clarity arrived.  More time on the beach with a lot of time in the water.  We rested often taking care to be slow with ourselves.  Food cravings didn’t seem to exist as the mind latched on to thoughts of all things liquid.  I was even craving a coke (I haven’t drank coke in many years).  Brushing teeth became a highlight of the day - rinsing my mouth out with water was the greatest pleasure.

As we approached the time of preparing for our vigil the mind kicked in….what the fuck….are we really going to do a half hour walk over several headlands to get to the place I received we would go.  Half an hour doesn’t seem long, but when you’ve had two days of no food and water, it feels like a bloody marathon.  Not to mention the gear we had to carry with us.  Surrendering to the intention we’d co-created through our receivings, we overrode the mind, knowing it’d do anything it could to hijack the magic.  We packed a bottle of water each, just in case, removing the possibility of any panic getting the better of us.

We set off allowing enough time to arrive and set up before dark.  The walk was hard.  Really hard.  We were slow but steady.  The gathering of firewood to sustain us throughout the night was even harder, collapsing in exhaustion, but with a feeling of great accomplishment.  This is where I started rinsing my mouth in a little water and spitting it out.  The dryness was unbearable.  As soon as I started doing this I couldn’t stop - soaking up the tiny drops that remained in my mouth like liquid gold. 

We set up the fire and set our intentions for the ritual.  Gratitude for the magic that was weaving between us.  For a short time all thoughts of water dissipated as we entered the portal of ritual and the sacred.  A clarity and knowing of intent was present.  We set up the alter and set about making an essence of the energy of the conjunction. 

During the night I sat in a lot of contemplation.  Unfortunately the conjunction wasn’t visible to us but we could feel the energy of it.  Telepathy strengthened between us.  We meditated at 11.02pm - the time of solstice.  We held space for each other to sleep for about 2 hours each, holding point as the fire keeper.  The tide came in and went out.  The first Tui sang at 4.30am, the dawn chorus following close behind.  A dawn swim in the cold water quenched the thirst somewhat.  And at 7am we meditated again to close the ritual. 

The energy infused into the essence spoke of trusting the mystery, courage to explore the terrified parts of ourselves (most often protected and unseen parts of self), the ability to be with other while holding integrity of self alignment and what’s needing to come through and capacity to constantly lean into the mystery of the dark. 

The time came for us to pack up and head home.  With very little sleep and now on day 3 of no food or water this was no easy task.  Bags felt much heavier than the previous day and the walk up and over the headland was extremely strenuous.  Pushing ourselves with all possible exertion.  Finally we made it home and were able to collapse into bed.  Somewhat shocking to see myself in the mirror, sunken eyes sat above dark circles.  My mouth was dryer than it had been the previous days and as I lay on my bed I felt the closest I’ve ever felt to death.  Knowing that Laura had previously done 11 days of dry fasting I knew I wasn’t going to die.  But every last bit of life force had been sucked out of me.  We decided we would drink water at mid day.  Surrendering to my need for sleep I drifted off.

Waking at 11.30am I was desperate to drink.  I witnessed the animal in me wanting to skull water, to bring life back into my body.  My eyes were hard to open and vision was slightly blurred.  As we approached mid day Laura reminded me of the importance of consciousness and gratitude which was an important part of the sacred prayer with which water could flow back into our bodies.  It was a moment I won’t forget and my intention going forward is that of great gratitude for the waters which flow so readily from our taps.

I had many ‘take homes’ from these few days, but to name just a few:

• Initiation into fasting and inspiration to fast while journeying with one plant at a time - a deepening of relationships with plants.
• The power of the trickster inside my mind.
• Initiation into death - the calm I felt in the absence of life force.
• A learning to continually allow a death of attachment to my identity, pushing through to a deeper resonance with my soul gifts without the attachment of my personality.
• Remembering to be in deeper listening and a trust of leaning into the dark mystery and the magic that is available from this emptyness.
• The importance of being together with other, the sharing of gifts and the initiations possible in the magic of synchronistic union.